Forgive or Forget?
I have had the pleasure of being in the fitness industry for 10 years now. Helping people who struggle with weight issues has been the biggest part of my career. For 10 years I have seen similar patterns with the way people think and react to their choices. When asked what has stopped my clients from losing weight in the past, I have a pretty quick response for you….their minds, our own heads! I am very honest with those I have been working with, the only time I have gained weight was when I was pregnant with Iris, and some don’t even count that since it was due to pregnancy. Because of my underactive thyroid, turned OVER-active after I gave birth I was wearing some of my pre pregnancy clothes 2 weeks later. Sick, right? Well hate me for that, but I can tell you I may have you beat with my own struggles of wanting things to be perfect. I want to do everything RIGHT NOW. I put tons of pressure on myself to be successful in all aspects of my life. I have seen this over and over with clients. Our need to be perfect, and when we are not, feeling like a big failure. Whether it’s eating perfectly “clean”, working out as much as we think we should. Feeling like we need to do everything right, every single day stops a lot of people from even beginning.
While I can’t share with you a personal experience of weight gain or loss, and I can’t break confidentiality of my clients and tell their stories, I can share with you my own learning experiences and disappointments. We are all a work in progress. As soon as we accept that, the less we will let our negative thoughts about our behavior control us. When we recognize that something new begins after something ends, you will be on track to your self-realizations. I recognize that there are things I think I know that end up not being true, and I am learning to roll with it.
I am a great judge of character………but I have also been fooled.
I would like to think that after so many years working closely with people I am an above average judge of character. The past is the past, but I can admit that I have been completely thrown for loops and turned upside down. We have all had the “wow I can’t believe it! “moments The moments you don’t know if you should be upset over something someone has done or said, or giving out awards for their acting skills. I recently saw a quote….”I don’t LOSE, I either WIN or I LEARN” I think that is an awesome quote with a great message, one that many can relate to something in their life.
We have all judged something or someone wrong. But we jump right back up and don’t let that stop us from being successful. I have witnessed it with many people recently, and have been AMAZED with the strength they have had to keep moving forward. Relationships, injuries, self-doubt, sicknesses, it has all been there with clients in the last few weeks. But I have seen inner strength seep out from people that has been very humbling. Don’t let negative thoughts from yourself or others stop you from what you want to accomplish.
I am honest…..but I haven’t always been completely truthful.
We all have that friend that is just a little too truthful. When asked for their opinion they give a little more then what we bargained for. I’m a great one for ignoring the question and answering it half way, it drives my family and friends crazy. Why do I do it? Sometimes to save someone’s feeling. Sometimes I am just not ready to answer until I have the right words to say. And sometimes I don’t answer at all (another thing that drives people crazy). I think some questions don’t need to be answered because the person really does know the answer. In reality we can’t protect people from everything and communicating is key to successful relationships. Sometimes we just need to hear certain things even if we really do know the answer. Something I am working on!
Maybe you have done this while logging your food. You have been honest when logging in your journal, but have you been completely truthful in logging every single item? If not, those few extra small bites may add up throughout the day and can make a difference. Be truthful, is your weekend social events maybe adding up to a few extra calories that isn’t making your body composition numbers budge?
I am a great communicator….but I am also an AWFUL communicator.
So I am great at telling people what to do and when to do. Really I am great at bossing people around. J But I have also realized when it comes to my own needs and wants I am awful at communicating feelings. Something I have definitely worked on and have helped me be a happier more fulfilled person.
I have found that the people who get the best results from trainings and classes are those who communicate what they need and their concerns. Those who have been the most successful with their goals while taking classes are those who have asked questions; what class is the best fit for them and their limitations? What is a good class to start out with? Those who have been most successful while personal training has been those who have asked for the tools they need to keep making progress on days we are not training together.
I am confident….but I am also hard on myself.
I get teased a lot for being confident. My secret? I stick to things I am good at. But I think it is time to step outside my box. Being confident may not be a bad thing and I do try new things all the time, I am one of the people who will try anything once. But maybe giving things a second or third chance isn’t a bad thing either if you aren’t a rock star at it the first time.
This can be related to a workout. Don’t just challenge and push yourself to the point that it is difficult, push yourself to where you may fail….it’s ok! How will we know our limits unless you test it and push it. And don’t write off something after the first time just because you thought it wouldn’t work for you or was too hard for you. By gaining strength as you continue to workout you will be surprised how it makes other things easier. It may be time to go back to that class that kicked your butt the first time.
Ease up on yourself. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Forget about the things that are not important to improving yourself and your family.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. As I mentioned, I work closely with a lot of people and know many secrets…..everyone has something they are not happy with. But those who have been honest with themselves and have communicated their needs and the path that they are going to take have been the happiest. HAPPINESS….what more could we ask for?